The Informal Normal In A Black-Tie-Affair World

Stanley J. Leffew

Have you noticed the trend?

You ever notice how on programs like "The Bachelor" most of their dating episodes are via limousine escort?

They travel to lavish destinations amid scenic splendor. The sunsets are so beautiful you can almost hear nature singing its own rendition of, "Love Is A Many Splendid Thing".

You rarely ever even see a rainy day.

In "Sleepless In Seattle", the audience was left "Speechless in New York" atop the Empire State Building. The climactic romantic interlude that followed is one that will be etched in the memory of movie-lovers for a long time to come.

In "Sabrina", the audience feels the eloquent charm and ambience of Paris.

"You've Got Mail" spammed us with the scenic elegance and grandeur of all that's good in and around "The Big Apple".

If you really want to be depressed, sit and watch some of the work out programs that abound. Watch as brisk morning breezes enrapture the velvety clouds tracing the horizon from the backdrops of scenic vistas and ocean views. Who couldn't be motivated to work out?

We easily become captivated by "Lifestyles of The Rich and Famous", "Cribs", and the latest craze of "Extreme Make Over-Home Edition", dreaming if only...

Watch a few of the music videos that abound at VH1, MTV and BET. You will see more money, lavish diamonds, fancy fashions, flashy gold jewelry, expensive limousines and other fine automobiles watching these music video programs for one hour than most people will see in the average lifetime.

All commercials seem to have the same goal in mind to make us feel that their product is the missing link to our imminent happiness.

We live in a Black Tie Affair World!

No wonder so many people struggle with comparisons.

When one becomes enamored by the glitz and the glamour so prevalent in our culture, it is easy to feel relationally shortchanged and cheated in life.

This Black-Tie-Affair mindset causes many couples to strive to keep up with the Joneses to the point of being maxed out to the hilt in financial demise from debt. Money issues are cited as one of the biggest reasons for the breakdown in the family leading to divorce.

Are you struggling with the fantasy?

Are you confused with all the hoopla?

Is this life reality?

Is this relational reality?

Is it reality?

If it is, I must be missing something. I must have made a wrong turn in the road somewhere. Most of the families I know must have made the wrong turn with me.

Although my wife and I love each other very much, much of our relationship life is spent, well, INFORMALLY NORMAL.

A day in the life for most couples is spent:

* Punching the old inevitable time clock.

* Doing the dishes and the laundry.

* Cooking.

* Paying bills.

* Fighting colds, headaches and fatigue.

* Changing diapers.

* Bathing the kids and getting them ready for bed.

* Getting up the next day and doing it all over again.


Most of the world struggles with getting up, getting old, getting fat, getting sick or simply getting by.

So, do yourself a favor. Stop buying in to all the hoopla and falsehood.

If you get caught in this web of deceit, you just may miss out on what really matters - faith, family, character and integrity.

The last time I checked, love wasn't defined by the word MONEY.

For words that better define love you may want to consider: commitment, sacrifice, support, unselfishness, home building, encouragement, forgiveness, planning and working together.

Maybe a bit informal and normal...maybe not as flashy as dollar signs...but ironically, a lot richer!

(C)Copyright 2004 advice-for-lifetime-relationships.com by Stanley J. Leffew ALL RIGHTS RESERVED!


Stanley J. Leffew is the author of, "How To Be Wanted For a Lifetime of Nights and Not Just a Night of a Lifetime". His Website is based on this same theme. His Site's unique Newsletter takes its readers into "The Coffee Shop of Make-Believe" for life and relationship empowerment. The Coffee Shop is OPEN at, http://advice-for-lifetime-relationships.com.

Vacationing Tips to Protect You and Your Family
Jordan Walt

A.I.C. Insurance Agency Offers Vacation Tips to Protect You and Your Family
Milwaukie, OR Feb. 28, 2005 - Vacations should be a time spent having fun and relaxing. By taking a few extra precautions while traveling, you can prevent yourself, or your friends and family, from being a victim of crime. A.I.C. Insurance Agency and Travelers, a leading provider of auto and homeowners insurance, offer these safety tips to help you, your friends and family have a fun and safe vacation:
� Do not carry large amounts of cash. Use traveler's checks that can usually be replaced within 24 hours.
� Use ATMs only during daylight hours. If you must use one after dark, try and find a well-lit, busy area such as a grocery store.
� Leave copies of trip information with a friend or family member at home. This includes credit card numbers, passport numbers, plane tickets and itinerary
information, and phone numbers for your credit card companies.
� Keep credit cards, cash, passport, and plane tickets separate.
� Wear a "money purse" underneath your clothes that contains passport, phone numbers for credit card companies, and a small amount of cash, should your wallet get stolen.
� Carry a "dummy" wallet in your back pocket containing $20 which, if you were to be mugged, would satisfy the robber without draining all of your funds.
� Have your mail delivery stopped while on vacation. If you have a neighbor
retrieving mail and newspapers while you are away, ensure that they will be there
every day. Nothing says an empty house like a stack of mail or newspapers at the front door.
� Do not assume your personal documents are safe in your hotel room. Lock them in a safe while the room is unoccupied.
� Have separate ATM, debit and credit cards and make sure that you need a PIN for in-store use of a debit card, not only for the ATM.
� For women, do not hang purses on the back of bathroom stall doors. It is very easy for someone to reach over the door and grab it.
� Leave your regular checkbook at home. If your checks are stolen, it's difficult to cancel them and track their use as you would a credit card. Plus, if someone reorders checks in your name, you won't realize it until you receive your bank statement.
� Only carry credit cards that you will need on vacation. Leave cards for particular department stores or things like gas cards at home.
� Remember that your credit card number is on your plane tickets, so treat them as you would a credit card.
� Cover ATM key pads when entering your PIN. People could be watching over your shoulder, or even from a distance, and then later attempt to steal your wallet and use this information.
� Use common sense when traveling. Do not draw attention to yourself as a tourist. Avoid reading maps in a busy, high-traffic area, carry your camera in a tote bag rather than the carrying case, and do not flaunt large amounts of cash when removing money from your wallet or pocket.
Your homeowners, condo or renters insurance policy may cover loss or damage of your personal items while traveling, up to specified limits. Take time before you go on vacation to compile a personal property inventory, which helps determine replacement cost of lost items. Document each item's year of purchase and original price. Items that may exceed policy limits, such as jewelry, cameras and golf equipment, need additional protection such as Travelers valuable items insurance. To ensure you have the coverage you need, contact your independent insurance agent.

Established in 1995, AIC Insurance Agency is an independent insurance agency offering a full range of insurance products including auto, home, life, commercial, and more.
For information and quotes on insurance coverage, please visit AIC Insurance Agency at 14000 SE Johnson Rd. Ste.210 in Milwaukie, OR, or call 503-653-8287.
Travelers, the second largest writer of auto and homeowners insurance through independent agents, is a member of St. Paul Travelers, a leading provider of property casualty insurance and asset management services. For more information, visit www.travelers.com


Graduate of Oregon State University, and independent insurance agent in Oregon.